A Cautionary Tale

I wish this was a fictional story. It's not. It happened....to me. And with that, let me just cut to the chase. There are public ball shavers living among us in dark lit 24 Hour Fitness community showers and now in front of community mirrors at the Allstar Fitness men's locker room. Gone are the days when a man can enter a gym locker room without fear of seeing a razor trimming Mr. Roger's Neighborhood. Or, as they say, Manscaping.

Today was unlike any other day, or so I thought. I gleefully escaped from the grind of cube life for a lunch time spinning workout like I've done so many times. The class was good, not great, but nonetheless I left feeling motivated. Little did I know what I was about to see. I entered the men's locker room and readied myself for a quick shower. As I turned toward the community mirrors, I noted a completely nude man participating in a full above the chest shave (i.e., face and dome). I had an obvious reaction that any right-minded person would have:

(1) Is it really necessary to stand void of any protective garment (e.g., towel) shaving one's face and head in any public establishment? No. I will make exceptions for the ladies just trying to make a living. No exception granted for the dudes.

(2) Is it really necessary to shave one's dome while at the gym? No. You get in and you get out (that's what she said).

That being said, having experienced prior awkward gym moments, I noted that it could be worse - he could be shaving his balls. Sadly, it got worse.

I quickly wrapped my shower and begin preparing myself, both mentally and with clothes, for my return trip to work. That's when it happened. Out of my peripheral vision, I noted that the man took a quick glance back in my direction (I could feel his eyes on me like I was being starred down by an offender from his van) and then lowered the razor from his head. The rest is, well, vomit inducing. Hopefully, I thought, I was losing my mind, but I glanced over at the dude preparing himself next to me for affirmation. A head nod latter confirmed my fears. Speechless and slightly queasy the man whom I just shared a confirming head nod says: "I think there are better places to do that."

And so, I leave you with those words of wisdom...."there are better places to do that."

May God have mercy on his balls.